“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
Ernest Hemingway
“Self-trust is the first secret of success”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Hmm – Why am I using these two quotes on trust? I believe if you don’t trust yourself, you will find it quite hard to trust others. Trusting in yourself and your abilities leads to self-confidence and will make you less dependent on the opinion of others.
In preparation for one of my early management trainings I came across this model picturing the “Evolution of Trust”:
The four basic trust models according to Robert Fisher are (as pictured here)
o Suspicious still. Don't ever trust anyone, even after they have done something nice.
o Suspicious until. Don't trust anyone until they prove themself.
o Trust until. Trust people until they screw up.
o Trust still. Trust people even after they make mistakes, sometimes even when they hurt you.
I encourage you to contemplate this and explore within yourself where you would place yourself in this model. Also, do you know people who fall into stage 1 “suspicious still”? What is it like to work with them or for them? How comfortable do you feel around them?
My belief is that people who find themselves at the top of the diagram (“Trust Until” or “Trust Still”) are generally more successful in life than those on the bottom. Trusting others enables you to delegate more easily and frees you up to do things that on the Eisenhower Matrix fall into the “important” category. I also believe that being suspicious requires a lot of energy – energy you can direct elsewhere.
So, how can you move yourself from the bottom – should you find yourself there – to the top? Work on your self-confidence; through doing so, you will enhance the trust that you have in yourself. Observe how this increased trust in yourself will change the way you view others over time.
Wishing you a successful week with confidence … Claudia
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